By Malinda Seneviratne
Poor Ronnie de Mel. He has been completely upstaged. Time was when he was the perennial and can-always-count-on-him political gymnast. In fact it is indeed a pity that this man did not choose to fine-tune his considerable talents so he could realise his full potential. His supple limbs and flexible spine would certainly have made talent scouts salivate. Unfortunately he did not grow up at a time when sporting talent was a marketable commodity.

Had it been otherwise, Susanthika would not have been the first to follow Duncan White to Olympic glory. Young Ronnie would have been touting the worth of products he did not or did not have to consume. Perhaps he would have also had to go on record alleging sexual harassment by a depraved Sports Minister. None of this happened, so he had to restrict his somersaults to that happy hunting ground called the parliament.

Actually Ronnie was not the first to jump ship when the odds were down. There were others before him who did what the rats are supposed to do when ships go under. His claim to fame is that he has done the flip-flop, the side-step and the what-not so many times that people stopped counting a long time ago. Still, his exploits have over the years been overshadowed by those who seem to have learnt from him the fine art of political expediency. Today, cross-overs are part and parcel of the pantomime that is Sri Lankan politics.

Cross-overs, although being "old hat", are colourful and often humorous affairs. There is always a solemn papochcharanaya (confession), an airing of grievances (usually about hands being tied and having tried valiantly to change things), charges of corruption and intractability, and an eloquent expression of faith in the party that welcomed and was embraced by the "defector".

I vividly remember the pretty grotesque images of UNP members crossing over to the PA and vice versa during the debate on the infamous "new constitution" last year. Fattened politicians (looking as though they had just stepped out of a Wijesoma cartoon) being hugged and kissed by other fattened politicians, pot-belly rubbing against pot-belly, accompanied by a loud chorus of cheers harmonising surprisingly well with jeers and catcalls, was not a pretty sight. But that’s power politics, I suppose.

That ancient game of musical chairs to ancient political tunes is being played all over again. It has become quite the thing to do and to expect on the eve of fresh elections. The main protagonist this time is S. B. Dissanayake. And, as expected, the entire media machine controlled by PA stooges has come out strong with vituperative allegations. I am tempted to say, "dukata kiyana kavi"!

A PA-leaning colleague of mine who dreams of seeing principles win over expediency in our political scene, believes that it is as repulsive for the PA to have embraced Mervyn Silva as it is for the UNP to have taken in SB, especially since these people were vilified and vilified in return when they were in the opposite camp.

Elections don’t grant people many victories. We get to see a new set of ugly mugs on TV and in the newspapers, and this might be all we can shout about. We have to be thankful for small mercies. In this case, the breaking of monotony. By and large, whoever is in power do exactly what their predecessors have done: plunder the wealth of the country; harass, arrest and murder opponents; facilitate the continued exploitation of the working class and other dispossessed social groups; and in our country, find ways and means of appeasing rabidly racist minorities.

There is however one thing that election time offers the people by way of relief. No, I am not talking of sudden recruitment, pay hikes and the like. I am talking about giving people more than their usual dose of humour.

As always it is the villain of the piece that gets to be the chief clown. So, I have to say "Thanks Mr. Sri Lanka Free Patriotic Alliance, may you live long!" SB has enough dirt attached to his doings. I am not saying that, it is the UNP that went to town about SB’s villainy immediately after the last elections. Actually SB himself has tacitly admitted that he was party to the massive fraud committed in Hanguranketha last year. The UNP, for reasons best known to them, have welcomed him with wide grins and warm applause.

There is an old Sinhala saying, "ballo ekka budiyanakota, mekko ekka negitinna venava". There has been so much of sleeping around among the PA, the UNP and the JVP (a la the Sahavasa Govt. and before) that I leave it to the readership to pick the pooch. Those who wake up with fleas will probably know how was the bow-wow and who was not. There is bound to be a lot of scratching, but then again that’s a risk politicians take. Part of the trade, one could say.

Mangala S and Chandrika BK are attacking SB without mercy. They’ve even sent helicopters to take pictures of SB’s palatial residence in Hanguranketha. Charges of corruption, family bandyism and theft abound. I can’t help laughing. As The Island editorial of October 18th argues, SB couldn’t have built the mansion in the two weeks that have passed since he defected. For all his braggadocio, he is hardly Vishvakarma.

Anyway, where were these high-minded anti-mansion people during the last seven years, and what were they doing? I am sorry, I forgot. They were sleeping around. Soundly too, it seems. And I am willing to bet that they were not doing it in a dingy back bedroom in some corner of the city, bathed in abject poverty.

Since they seem to enjoy taking pictures, Mangala and Co., can go the whole hog and capture on film all the assets of all the MPs, themselves included, and they should not forget the houses and other fixed assets that have been bought/constructed in other countries like France, Egypt and elsewhere. That way we will really know how their gardens really grow.

SB, for his part, has spared no pains to air all the dirty linen of his old friends. Hardly the most qualified to do so, after all he was for a long time the blue-eyed boy of the Old Lady. He obviously knew about all the mismanagement, embezzlement and the low down and dirty tricks.

The bottom line, as we all know, is that in politics there are no permanent friends or permanent enemies. But humour aside, what are the key political issues before the people this time around? Ah! that’s a question that I believe is related to that interesting realm called "Beyond Power Politics", an enchanting place that exists somewhere below the bottom line. In another dimension. This is not the time and place to talk about it. For now my advise is, enjoy the fun and laugh as much as you can. Maybe that is all the voter is going to get. For other things, let us bide our time.