by Indira Perera

It is important for everyone to know that approximately 20%-25% of virgins will not bleed at first intercourse, due to structural variations in their hymen

What is a hymen

The hymen is a thin membrane partially closing the entrance to the vagina. It has an opening which can vary in size, through which menstrual blood flows out each month. The hymen is not known to serve any useful purpose. It usually tears at the first intercourse, leaving a few pheripheral tugs. This may cause slight bleeding.

The above was quoted from a news bulletin issued by the Medical Director Sri Lanka Family Planning Association (FPA) Dr. Mrs. Sriani Basnayake, at a recent seminar.

The seminar was conducted by the FPA to discuss with the press and make a public issue of the misconceptions that lay behind the question of virginity that has resulted in many a broken marriage.

‘Broken box (meaning loss of virginity) cannot compensate for a lach of rupees’ is an old adage, that is much respected by some of our village folk.

Dr. Basnayake relating some of the most hilarious but pathetic incidents that have taken place on the day of home-coming read out the following:

* Bride forced to wear a plain white saree for the home-coming.

* Groom’s mother meets her with white flowers.

* Photographs hanging on walls are turned the other way round.

* Rabana turned over and placed at the entrance. It is not played.

* Overturning the "padikkama" and "Ellaththattuwa" and placing a broomstick in front of it.

* The bride’s party are not served food by the hosts and humiliated by being asked to help themselves to food laid out on a side table. And not from the ceremonial table.

* ‘Kondes’ of konde kevum are broken off before serving.

* A large white rose made of icing is placed ceremoniously on a cake by the groom’s mother in full view of all the guests.

* Plantains are peeled from the wrong end.

* Rarely, a public speech proclaiming the displeasure of the groom’s family.

According to Dr. Basnayake in a survey carried out by the FPA 2524 respondents had been asked whether they thought it was a good custom for a girl to have to prove her virginity on her wedding night.

* 63% of the total sample thought it was a good custom.

* 65% of the women approved continuing with the age old tradition.

Examining the white sheet by a set of women including the groom’s mother and the dhobie woman could be in a certain way called exercising their authority over the new comer.

However, in a fast developing world it is high time the bridegroom stepped in to defend his bride asking the hussy’s to mind their own business!