Should the young people full of hope for the failure have to sacrifice their life for the sake of the evil society?

Many young couples suffer untold misery and unhappiness from the beginning of their marriage because most Sri Lankans are still under the mistaken belief that all virgins will bleeded at first intercourse, and that a girl who does not bleed, has had sexual intercourse previously.

Today in Sri Lanka this white cloth is significant for the ammas, aachchies, nandammas etc. This is an unreliable and unscientific test and many an innocent girl has had to suffer in vain due to the prevailing primitive custom and the ignorance and misconception on this subject.

Who is a virgin?

According to Dr. Sriani Basnayake a virgin is a girl who has never had sexual intercourse, and not necessarily a girl who bleeds at first intercourse as believed by many people.

It is important for everyone to know that 20% to 25% of virgin will not bleed at first intercourse due to the structural variations in their hymen.

Many may wander the exact nature of the hymen.

The hymen is a thin membrane partially closing the entrance to the vagina. It has an opening which can vary in size, through which menstrual blood flows out each month. The hymen is not known to serve any useful purpose. It usually tears at the first intercourse leaving a few peripheral tags. This many cause slight bleeding, said Mrs. Basnayake.

She pointed out that lack of a hymen or absence of bleeding at first intercourse is no proof that a girl is not a virgin.

She said that there are instances where a girl may have been born without it. Sometimes some may have a very lax hymen or it may have got stretched or broken accidentally during vigorous physical exercise.

Mrs. Basnayake said that most often those who engage in sports or games does not necessarily damage the hymen. This is a rare occurrence pointed, Mrs. Basnayake.

Mrs. Basnayake made it clear that it is very important for people to be aware of the fact that a girl could be a virgin and still not bleed the first time she has sexual intercourse. The bleeding that occurs at first intercourse may be very slight, just a stain or considerable but never dangerous.

It is not true that some girls suffer such as massive haemorrhage that necessitates hospitalisation.

She also said that a girl may experience slight pain or discomfort during the first intercourse. Many people assume that the pain associated with the first penetration is the result of the rupturing of the hymen. The pain is the result of fear and ignorance among certain girls. When the girl is tense and fearful, she will contract the peripheral muscles and this will cause the vaginal opening to be narrowed and restricted causing pain during attempted penetration.

Mrs. Basnayake stressed that lack of sexual knowledge is the cause most important failure and too hasty insertion of the penis without adequate foreplay will add to the tightening of the muscles at the vaginal opening. Foreplay and adequate sexual arousal of the woman causes increased vaginal recreation and lubrication which Mrs. Basnayake stresses is important to facilitate entry into the vaginal passage.

According to the national reproductive health survey 32% were not aware of the correct definition of a virgin and they believed that all virgins should bleed at first intercourse. 44.2% of urban males and 47.4% of rural males thought that all virgins bleed at first intercourse.

Some young men said that they judge the character of their future wife by the results of the virginity test.

The survey also pointed out that most of them were ignorant as what the hymen was. Some said the hymen is like an egg, while others thought it was like a balloon. Some thought it was located in the ear, urinary tract, bladder, womb and abdomen.

Some of the young men interviewed thought that the bride who does not bleed at first intercourse has had premarital sex. Most of them wanted their future to be a virgin at the time of marriage.

The survey also indicated that women are still subjected to harassment and fear. Most importantly our sexual ethos are inhuman to women.

Why are only women subject to this ghastly ritual. Why is the average Sri Lankan man above suspicion. These are questions that the average woman is facing.

The Family Planning Association of Sri Lanka is taking great measures to clear the myths and fallacies prevalent in our society. Sex education has been introduced in some schools, Volunteers and counsellors are there any time to help those who need advice. There are also facilities to train peer groups.

According to Daya Abeywickrema Director, Family Planning, many measures have been taken to clear misconception and fallacies on concepts like virginity, abortions etc.

Another question often asked by many is that is, it possible for a virgin to become pregnant?

Definitely yes, says Mrs. Basnayake. If seminal fluid is deposited around the vaginal orifise, even without actual intercourse taking place, sperm can travel through the opening in the hymen and into the womb. It is rare but can occur, says Mrs. Basnayake.

A workshop for journalists was held recently at the Family Planning Association, Director, Family Planning, Daya Abeywickrema presided. Officer Andrea Boekal co-ordinated the workshop.