By Namini Wijedasa
Imagine that? The fate of the People’s Alliance government at the December parliamentary election rests on exactly how many people gulp down their ingenious yarn about the LTTE and the United National Party.

Honestly, their campaign tactics are more than a little droll. They are expert jay walkers, if nothing else. One would expect a government seeking re-election to highlight its achievements, however difficult that may be, to speak of its (competent) cabinet, to emphasise its leadership and vision. Perhaps a little manifesto with a few promises to cover the next term?

But no. The PA doesn’t fancy the obvious. The PA chooses, instead, to harp on some agreement which the UNP is purported to have signed with the terrorists. There is no proof to speak of, but the state media is crammed every day with news of the UNP’s ignoble and reprehensible alliance. Meanwhile, President Chandrika Kumaratunga has declared that if the UNP won, Prabhakaran would occupy her slot as head of state.

This is the essence of the government’s election campaign. Apart from a few mundane attempts to speak about economic prosperity, a drop in unemployment and developments in education, Kumaratunga and her junto are focusing elsewhere.

It takes the cake for original electioneering, it does. Faced with the fact that they have bally little to boast about, the PA has decided to try their luck with the UNP-LTTE story. Television ads., public speeches, newspaper articles, the works. That’s pretty clever — provided, of course, that the voters are boneheads and ninnyhammers.

Say this UNP-LTTE la-di-da is not an imaginative short story. Say there is, maybe, a memorandum of understanding between the LTTE and the UNP. As the government would have it, there is no reason to question the existence of such an alliance. Ranil Wickremesinghe only lacks the tail and stripes. In all other aspects, he’s a jungle cat.

Accepted. Why in the name of responsible governance is the PA not taking action to prosecute? There is, presumably, adequate legislation to enable the arrest of such blatant LTTE sympathisers. Heck, the UNP are dancing cheek-to-cheek with terrorists. In fact, S. B. Dissanayake once flaunted a copy of this so-called UNP-LTTE memorandum to the media. He later claimed that it had been forged by the government information department, but forget that.

It’s not the UNP’s silence on the issue that should cause voter suspicion (as one government newspaper claimed last week). It’s the government’s miserable cheek, letting terrorists campaign for parliament. What is stopping the police — who sometimes pounce on Tamil civilians on the merest suspicion that they are involved with the LTTE — from arresting publicly denounced terrorists like Ranil Wickremensinghe and the rest of his gang? What’s more, the allegation that they are Tigers comes from the head of state. Perhaps they don’t take her seriously.

Guess who else the police don’t take seriously: the Janatha Vimukthi Peramuna, has also been bleating about a UNP-LTTE pact. On Friday, its propaganda secretary, Wimal Weerawansa, held a press conference during which he said that his own party would preserve the country’s unitary status and claimed that the UNP had a pact with the Tigers. He found particularly offensive that clause in the UNP’s manifesto which proposes a north-east interim council as a solution to the war. It was like offering the north-east to the LTTE on a silver platter, he lamented.

If the PA and JVP start sounding anymore alike, they will soon be mistaken for each other.

The JVP launched its own manifesto last week. In it, the party makes a clear reference to its stance with regards the LTTE. It says that they may consider talks with the terrorists subject to three conditions: that they drop their demand for a separate state, declare a ceasefire and stop military training.

The UNP’s manifesto was nothing adventurous. Just a repetition of the proposals they had made before the last election. There was nothing in it about chewing gum, gold bracelets or bicycles, thank goodness. It seemed an okay sort of document. Especially since they haven’t had a chance to put it to use. Everything seems so ambrosial on paper. It’s when they are called upon to act on the promises that they start the cock-and-bull.

Now, if the UNP can only manage a successful campaign instead of complacently idling on their behinds, entirely depending on the PA’s miserable record to see them through... they MAY just win something decent.

There is one miserable failing of the UNP: the tendency to act like they’ve won even before they face the election. They’re already making the victory speeches.

Some UNP candidates have really taken campaigning to heart. Among them is Karu Jayasuriya. Apart from the usual paperwork, Jayasuriya has assigned some of his supporters to call up residences and canvass votes. A Gampaha district resident received one such telephone call late at night. The caller said he was from Karu Jayasuriya’s office and, after haranguing about what his chief would accomplish once he gets the "maha putuwa", asked the resident whom she would give her preference vote to.

She told him that she’ll take care of it at the election. Did the caller honestly believe that Gampaha district residents would confess to him whom they would poll for? Quaint.

The PA manifesto is nothing, period. That is, it’s not out yet. Deputy Media Minister Alavi Moulana said that it will be released on November 13. Must be tough work recycling old promises to make them sound sufficiently new and impressive.

S. B. Dissanayake was at it again, last week. He apologised for that vile "panty" thing that he had said about the President. You know, how she will walk around Fort in her panties, hair dishevelled, when her government loses the election on December 5. However, he added a post script to his apology. He claimed that all he had said was Kumaratunga would be deranged after the defeat and run on the streets with her hair dishevelled. "And people who are deranged usually start removing their clothes." Makes you wonder what sort of things he says at home, if he can be this crude in public.

Meanwhile, Srimani Athulathmudali threw her weight behind the UNP. Explaining her reasons to the Sunday Island, Athulathmudali said the United Lalith Front’s working committee had decided that since the government had achieved precious little it was time to support the other side. Commenting on her own future, she said that she was not immediately interested in contesting the elections because, "there was already a big group doing just that, with everybody trying to grab something." She may come forward in future if the political climate becomes more conducive to women contesting.

That may be some time yet — since the present climate is not conducive to humans, fullstop.

Moving on, do our administrators believe that we relish complete indiscipline (and are thus doing it out of love for the general populace) or is it a pure sadistic streak in them that is driving this country further into the pits of total anarchy?

In the past few weeks, police officials have been shuffled around faster than any of them can say "CBK"; the bribery commission chief was unkennelled as he prepared to press ahead with several important investigations and a minister was arrested on murder allegations.

Reports of pre-poll violence are increasing with three murders already, and aspiring parliamentarians are illegally plastering the walls with posters begging a presumably law-abiding public for votes. Sigh. Can there be a happier paradise.

About these police transfers, Inspector General of Police Lucky Kodituwakku has taken great pains to stress that the displacement of senior police officials was "routine" and completely regular. Sure ... only 60 regular, routine, clean transfers days before the general election. We do believe him.