Finding love on the net

chat.jpg (16010 bytes)Making a good ‘Virtual’ impression could help you find love on the net...

Love, romance and dating have taken on a new dimension. We see more teenagers sitting in front of computers chatting and making acquaintances. You can hide your identity but still make thecontact. There are instances of people getting married through computers. This is a better way to get to know your partner. May be it’s easier that way you remain relatively anonymous because you can hide behind an e-mail ID, a chatroom nickname or ‘handle’

Here are a couple of pointers on how to project the right image on the web.

* Introduce yourself, and let the person know why you’re writing to him — a wee bit of honest flattery doesn’t hurt.

* Attract attention by using uncommon and striking copy.

* Avoid boring stuff. Have some fun. Be daring, express yourself!

* Be honest. Show a little interest by asking one or two questions in your first e-mail, and be friendly — but not trite or cliched.

* Say it with panache. Be witty. Tell a funny story.

* And please do a spell check before you post your profile on the site. Spellings, punctuation and grammar are as important as content. It need not be perfect, but it shouldn’t be sloppy either.

* Avoid extolling your many virtues—it’s conceited and boring.

* Don’t whine, complain or go on about any problems in your life.

* Do NOT cast yourself in the role of the victim, the always wronged or the emotionally wounded.

* A profile that begins with ‘Desperately seeking’ is a definite no-no, as is bringing up stories from past relationships.

* Be positive and optimistic without being dramatic.

The Internet’s chat sites and meeting ‘rooms’ are the perfect hang-out for someone who’s painfully shy but lonely, or who doesn’t get out much. This is where a real life wallflower turns into a total party animal. Then again, extroverts who just want to make new friends also log on in droves!


On the World Wide Web, you can chat, flirt, date, fight, make up, make friends, find old friends and lovers and in some cases, even marry. You can meet people without really worrying about whether you fit in. You can date without washing your hair. You don’t have to spend too much money and you don’t have to care if your eyebrows aren’t done or you haven’t shaved your legs (that’s assuming you don’t have a webcam!). All you’ve got to do, is have the best one-liners and exhibit a great sense of humour to get noticed from amongst the horde of chatters.


What you’ve got to remember, is that here too, first ‘virtual’ impressions last. It’s almost like actually meeting people or going on a date. There are no second chances. Those first few seconds of contact set the seal on the other person’s perception of you.

This is a world that’s always in a hurry. Instant assumptions often lead to immediate decisions to accept or reject anything—even a potential friend or lover. Everything is just a click away.


In romance, we rarely second-guess the obvious. You would take 10 seconds to read a profile on a site, decide whether or not to reply; whether to move on, or send a friendly greeting.


If you don’t want to be hounded by perverted chatters or get into situations that could be potentially dangerous, stay away from suggestive nicknames and identities. Ones like biteme_jan or crazyasstud or easysuzy@xyz.com or- those describing body parts (in most cases, highly exaggerated) are not such a good idea. You might think you sound cool, but actually, you sound cheap and plain desperate! Remember, suggestive names are guaranteed to get you attention—of the wrong sort! The web has its collection of weirdos that can spell major trouble. You’ll also be devaluating and selling yourself short. Think of the kind of person you want to attract and choose your nickname accordingly. Play safe, use a name that’s funky and hip, yet on the right side of decent.


A truthful profile, a funky nickname and carefully-crafted but honest e-mails, lay a solid foundation for friendship, and will probably lead to a first date in the real world. Sure, it is a bit disconcerting to realise that you know so much about the person, but you still have to become accustomed to their physical presence. You may be a bit awkward initially, but you’ll get over that soon.

Make your best real-world first impression by just being yourself. If you’ve been honest, there’s nothing to hide, so relax. If you like what you see and are comfortable in the other’s presence, you can think of taking the friendship forward. But if you realise that he’s lying — that his ‘real’ self is in total contrast to his ‘virtual’ avatar, hit the road, and don’t give him another thought.

There are no strict rules when it comes to first impressions, yet so many of us don’t put our best foot forward during our early romantic encounters. Dating is competitive today—in the real or the cyber world. The next time you trip down the information superway, remember, that though you could end up with more than you bargained for, you also might just meet your soulmate—a lot depends on the image you project.