Knowing what we want out of a relationship gets confusing at times. Should we envy the friend who has a new fling every couple of weeks and is never bored, or should we strive to be like the friend who has been in a serious relationship for as long as anyone can remember?

Let’s pretend dating is like eating in a restaurant with a bewildering number of choices. Would you choose to graze or order one really incredible dinner?

Let’s see what your options look like:

In praise of quantity

Let’s say you are a gourmet dinner, standing in front of a glorious buffet. You want to taste everything, even if some of it doesn’t look so appetizing. In this case, you are getting premium variety as you sample every dish of the buffet of love and dating. A piece of sushi here — nah, that doesn’t taste good -let’s try the chicken fingers — ah that’s better, but next time you’d like that with less plum sauce, or perhaps barbecue sauce would be better.

The gourmet diner gets a taste of what’s out there by dating many people. This allows you to figure out what you want. How can you possibly know you don’t like veal when you’ve had steak all your life? I’m not suggesting that you go on an eating binge, date hordes of people or cheat on your steady. But it’s a good idea to consider people who, at first blush, don’t seem like your type.

In praise of quality

Let’s pretend that you are a marathon runner. When standing in front of a buffet, you opt for water, vegetables and high protein foods. You avoid the fatty foods and stick to the same diet consistently. We salute you. You are in excellent health.

The problem is you don’t know what you’re missing and that can lead to bad choices, If you know, for instance that you ‘re not compatible with stubborn people, you wouldn’t waste time dating somebody who seems "stiff" at a party. On the other hand, you may not realize that the person you just had a spirited debate with at the same party is Mr. or Ms. Right.

So what’s the solution?

Try to strike a balance between quality and quantity-although not at the same time! In order to find that quality person worth settling down with, leave doors to potential relationships open even if they don’t seem to be high quality at first.

Get to know different kinds of people and you will grow from your experiences.

Run marathons while in those relationships, but don’t decide to alter your diet the moment something gets a little stale. When the two of you decide that your relationship isn’t working any more, feast on all the delicious treats until you find the one that pleases you the most!