by Ranil Mendis
Tasil’s opinion that the Parliament was a Zoo, except for a few, was chilling but not surprising. The eminent members of the bar of one of the watering holes I frequent were broadly in agreement. The disagreements were minor. One said that Tasil should not have included dogs in his list of animals bearing in mind Mark Twain’s assessment that dogs were better than human beings.

Another said that he should have included Zebras in the list of animals. When questioned why by a Bimbo sipping the old stuff, he said that the Zebra has earned distinction for having two colours. Black and White! No one knows which colour predominates. Even the Zebra does not know if one asked. It thinks it is wearing fancy pyjamas. Others think that it looks like a jailbird.

It reminded the Bimbo of the record breaking Finance Minister, who swings from one side to the other like a pendulum. He is there for the beer and like a Zebra does not care about his colour. It is generally reckoned that this man, rather gone in years, has now hitched up his sarong and girded his loins for another opportunistic jump.

The bar finally found broad agreement that the Parliament as it is presently composed, except for a few, does injustice to the world of animals. The debate turned to the exceptions. One was woefully sipping a plain tonic. He could not afford the gin that goes with it after he had paid his electricity bill, which partly finances Baja’s certificates of deposits. He suggested the Prof. as a notable exception.

The Bimbo disagreed. He cited Einstein who propounded the general theory of relativity, which superseded Newton’s law of gravity in explaining the structure of the Universe. In this theory the time on the roof is different to the time on the floor. If one were travelling in a vehicle at a velocity approaching the speed of light, a few minutes in the vehicle could be an age in the time, as we commonly know it.

It would explain the innocence of many of our politicians. Madam in the palace could actually be punctual. The Prof. could actually be telling the truth when he says that the economy is sound and growing and that droves of foreign investors are flocking in. The same thing he said when on the other side, which he now condemns.

However, Bimbo was more concerned with the humility and modesty of Einstein. Einstein like good academics and professionals did not advertise himself. He did not court the press and publicity. Not so the Prof in politics. He had hundreds of silk banners of his full length portrait displayed all over the Colombo district in the general elections of the year 2000.

Even though this contravened election laws it would have been palatable if the man was good looking like Elvis Presley or Vijaya Kumaranatunga. Instead, the portrait was that of one subtracting from the aesthetic beauty of the environment. It may be called artistic pollution.

Each of these banners would have cost some thousands of rupees. The cost of each is sufficient to feed dozens of little children suffering from malnutrition. But, the Prof’s political fortune (and that of other poster paraders) is deemed more important. It is not surprising for a man who as Deputy Minister of Finance raised the price of milk and reduced the price of beer in one budget, though of course he was only reading Madam’s proposals as she never tired of reminding us. The impact will have the tendency to increase the hunger of the children and get the parents drunk so that they are immune to the misery of their offspring.

Einstein did not have to advertise himself because he was high on substance. The Prof is high on advertisement. Posterity would judge him on the merit of his appointments to the Supreme Court bench and on the standard of the thousands he appointed as JPs. He didn’t improve on his predecessors’ track record on that score. But they were not Rhodes Scholars at Oxford and winner of cartloads of prize books at S. Thomas’.
Courtesy www.ozlanka .com