What’s wrong with living in?

Shobana Tambyraja, teacher: "I believe live-in relationships are especially good for the growing middle class, who are now into love marriages. Living in seems to give them the leeway to pursue their careers. This is a time for the couple to get to know each other.

"If the relationships doesn’t work out, they can walk out without having to go through a messy divorce - assuming that they don’t have children. Ideally, the couple should avoid bringing sex into this kind of a relationship - it adds maturity and mental balance."

"Also society should change its attitude towards such a couple — they certainly are not harming anyone, are they? They are just following the dictates of their hearts and if someone else’s morality is outraged - tough!" Though I agree with the concept. I don’t think I’d go in for it because of society. Also when such relationships break up it’s always the woman who emerges the loser and gets a raw deal — and I wouldn’t want to put a woman I care for through that. "There are people who wouldn’t mind living in even, though society ostracises them. But at the end of the day, man is a social animal. It would really be nice if a couple could live together, see how things work out - without having a physical relationship, though I think it’s very difficult to do that. In any case, it’s entirely upto the couple — it’s their life, after all. Though I do wish our society would be less judgemental."

Jayanthi Ranaweera, undergrad: "Unfortunately Sri Lankan society has no respect for such relationships. So, courtship period, when the couple get to know each other. And though live-in relationships are comparatively rare, then incidence is rising.

"Unfortunately, if this trend continues, we may reach a stage where people live in, not as a pre-marital arrangement, but as a lifestyle. This trend is prevalent in the west, and in some countries like Sweden, the institution of marriage is practically non - existent.

"If the live-in relationship is just as a premarital arrangement for the purpose of gauging how well a couple function together, it has its benefits. But it isn’t as simple as that. There the matter of multiple partners, the threat of AIDS, deterioration of values, and may be even the extinction of the institution of marriage.

Naima Sally - teacher: Marriage is a union of the two sexes, and the most important factor that keeps it going is compromise and learning to core for another entity apart from yourself. Courtship is a romantic and idealistic period, far different from actually living together.