A response to Gamini Basnayake’s tribute to a wife (The Island 8/10).

Mr. Gamini Basnayake, your appreciation of your beloved wife, Piyaseeli, (The Island) 8/10 would move any reader to tears.

You talk of Piyaseeli, your wife, who was a consultant in a leading state IT academy, who experienced a sudden memory loss early 2007 and who was seriously ill for almost one year with a brain lesion that was subsequently diagnosed as a very aggressive brain tumour necessitating much surgical care, both in Sri Lanka and India.

You have mentioned the various human beings, your children, the doctors, the nurses, your colleagues, the magnanimous people of this world who helped your wife in every possible way including a little smile, a small gesture of kindness to make her suffering minimal till she breathed her last.

You call all those who helped your wife in this crisis ‘Gods and Heroes’. They are Gods and Heroes, indeed, including youself!

You also say, "I also recall the textile merchant in Chennai. I went into a shop and asked for a scarf and a piece of black cloth. The shopkeeper looked a bit puzzled and asked very politely: ‘Sir, for what purpose do you need the black cloth?’ I told him that my wife had been undergoing chemotherapy and was losing her hair and needed the stuff to cover her head. He soon found and gave me what I asked for and when asked for the price, he said: ‘Sir, I cannot and will not charge you for this.’"

The doctors did what they could do. The nurses did what they could do. You did what you could do. Your children did what they could do. Your colleagues, your wife’s students, everybody did what they could do. Yes, even the shopkeeper did what he could do.

In a world, where the husband does not speak to the wife and the wife cares not what happens to her spouse, Gamini and Piyaseeli and their children are a shining example of a closely knit family, bonded by love.

You have done your best during the lifetime of Piyaseeli. That is what matters. Not what you do after her death?

I know of spouses and children who spend large sums of money to erect memorials after the death of a family member. The Taj Mahal is the best example of a husband’s tribute to his departed wife. But even a better tribute to her would have been the genuine smile, the kind word and affection any wife would prefer to the most magnificent monument built in her honour after death.

Judging from the appreciation you have written to The Island of 8/10, I don’t think you should build another Taj Mahal. What you, your children and all concerned had done for Piyaseeli during her lifetime is what matters, not what you do after her departure.

Piyaseeli had a loving husband and loving children. Did she need more?