At last someone is doing something sensible to end the global financial crisis! Three thousand priests have gathered in India for the world’s longest pray-in to solve the world economic screw-up. They will pray and chant and burn incense and stuff for two years in Gujarat’s Mehsana district. The guys have been limbering up in training for months, and are already on target for their goal of chanting 10 million hymns in the first 12 months.

I really like this idea. When you have a totally unexpected problem, you need to go for a totally unexpected answer. Besides, this fits in with the news that spirituality is growing around the world. Let’s all join in. Here are some important prayers to share, particularly for Asia.

The prayer of the Philippines Government: "Dear Lord, please help us to finally rid this country of corruption. And tell us how much you want for this and where to send the money."

The prayer of the Hong Kong Government: "O Lord, help us to introduce universal suffrage as soon as possible except for the bit about people being able to choose their own leaders."

The prayer of the Singapore Government: "Dear God, we know you are really proud to have us as your children. Please tell us when to give ourselves another pay rise."

The prayer of the South Asian civil servant: "Lord, I really think you should save us from mindless bureaucracy since I have sent this prayer in triplicate with all the required forms, properly stamped and signed with requested fees and other sundry items."

And now we move on to prayers for family life in Asia.

The prayer of the Asian male: "Lord, I pray that you can make me less self-centred and obnoxious today. But if you can’t, don’t worry, I’m kind of enjoying things as they are."

The prayer of the Asian female: "Thank you Lord, that today you have helped me resist the temptation to gossip, eat chocolate or spend a fortune on designer goods. But soon it will be time for me to get out of bed and I will really need your help then."

The prayer of the father: "Lord, you said my new baby would look like me, but in fact it is a tiny thing which looks nothing at all like me, except for the fact that it is bald and fat and wrinkly and does nothing but sleep and drink, hang on a minute, yeah, well, okay, I guess I see what you mean."

The prayer of the mother: "O Lord, give me patience to realize that this helpless creature you have entrusted to my care knows nothing and is capable of nothing; yet remind me that if I nurture him and care for him he may one day achieve greatness. And what’s true for my husband also goes for my new baby."

The prayer of the modern child: "Lord, give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a Nintendo DS Lite Special Edition."

The prayer of the newspaper columnist: "Heavenly Father, help me fill up the space so I can go home. Oh. We’re there already. Cool. Thanks. Cheers. See you around."
Amen.

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