Single? Dating? Depressed? Then learn from the true story of The Worst Date Ever. A woman, let’s call her Kate (not her real name), met up with a guy who looked okay, sounded okay, and joined her for dinner as planned.

The evening took a nosedive when he left the table "to get something from the car" and was gone a long time. It got worse when she realized he was not coming back and she had to pay for dinner and drinks. It hit rock bottom when she stepped outside to find that he had stolen her car.

This happened recently in the US state of Michigan but I took the clipping with me to the bar to show women who think the men they date are jerks. "I went out with this guy who talked about himself for the ENTIRE EVENING," a woman aged 28 said. "Five hours."

The other women present had no sympathy. "That’s not unusual," one said. "That’s NORMAL. He’s a guy, isn’t he?" The first woman thought about this, and said: "Oh Yeah, you’re right."

I was intrigued to note that the torrent of tales that flowed fell into two clear categories. There was a standard scenario for bad dates suffered by women, and a different one for those endured by guys.

The female one goes like this. Guy meets girl. Guy talks about himself for hours. Girl puts up with this because he is not totally repulsive and it is good for her self-esteem to be wined and dined. Then they reach the second bottle of wine. The guy reveals that he is only here "because I am madly in love with your sister and I want you to tell me how to get close to her".

All the women had similar tales. Evidence suggests that the MAJORITY of romantic dinners being enjoyed around the world involve men and the sisters of the girl they love. Some had minor variations, with the guy revealing: "The real reason I’m here is because I am madly in love with your best friend/ mom / brother/ dad/ grandfather/ household pet."

The standard male bad date story followed a different pattern.

Guy meets girl. Guy invites girl on date. Girl turns up with group of friends. Girl flirts with handsome stranger all night. Guy watches bitterly from a distance. Guy pays drinks bill, dinner bill and cover charge for entire group. Guy eventually catches girl alone for a few seconds and asks for a bit of attention. Girl blows her top: "Just because you paid for drinks and dinner and everything else for me and all my friends and this handsome stranger with whom I am flirting, you think you OWN me? You JERK." She storms off with stranger and friends. She spends the following year telling everyone how evil the guy is.

But going back to Kate and the Worst Date Ever, I was pleased to read that her date’s level of jerkosity was matched by his level of stupidity. He’d stolen her car but left her with his real phone number and a photo. Police traced him. He deserves a horrible punishment. He should be sent out on a date with a girl, her friends and a handsome stranger.

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