FOR CENTURIES, BOSSES who were accused of breaking the law responded just the way you would expect from great leaders: they blamed staff.

"I knew nothing," the leader nobly says. "It was them."

This has become a sort of tradition. Most companies now employ full-time staff for this job, with titles such as "Executive Fall Guy," or "Vice President, Taking the Blame." It’s not a bad job (the pay’s good, but the prospects stink). The curious thing is that many people who have this job do not realize that they have it. I’ve had it several times. People who have this job often finding themselves being sacked and saying: "Oops."

No more. From this year onwards, everything changes. Leaders can no longer plead ignorance. Technicians can tell when bosses have read e-mails. They can detect when they scrolled down on their Blackberrys. They can probably even use brain-scanners to remotely detect a boss’ particular obnoxiousness level (although some of mine would have been off the scale).

In New Zealand recently, lawyers could not start a court case because the defendant refused to accept delivery of the writ. So they uploaded it to his Facebook page. Job done.

In India, Malaysia, Saudi Arabia and Tajikistan, husbands have successfully divorced their wives by sending the words "I divorce you" three times via SMS, e-mail or voicemail. (Lawyers advise husbands to type out the words fully, instead of using typical internet shorthand, such as "OMG! I dvrce u!," and omit the "happy face" emoticon :-)

Responding to a column on wrongly dialed numbers which led to gunfights or death, a lawyer said: "Now that communications messages have gained legal status, mistakes could lead to a fate worse than death: such as marriage." 

Reader Vince Alcalde took this one step further, sending me scenarios of events that are eventually likely to happen.

1. A man will accidentally send four "I divorce you" messages in a single text. The court will rule he did not fulfill the requirement to send three messages, and hence remains married. He cannot send three more messages because that will make a total of seven. "He will therefore be married forever," Vince warned.

2. A man will send three "I divorce you" messages to the wrong number. The court will rule the man and the woman he has never met are now officially divorced. She will be able to collect alimony from him for the rest of her life.

3. A man will send three divorce messages to his wife, assume he is now single and go on to marry someone else. The court will rule his messages invalid because he spelled them wrong: "I devours you." He will be stuck with two wives.

I think the worst thing would be if a guy was getting married to his second wife, and the first one turns up at the wedding, saying: "Hang on, what do you think you’re doing?"

The man says: "I’m getting remarried. I divorced you. Didn’t you get those messages I sent you? The ones that said `I divorce you’ three times, and called you a silly fat bitch?"

The wife says: "No. You must have sent them to someone else. You’re always dialing wrong numbers, you silly man."

Just then, the man’s mother-in- law walks in with a large gun.

So just remember. If you want to stay alive, dial carefully.