In the good old days, when about the time my father lived, there were sensitive people who went to the extent of even having a strong bond with the vehicles they used. My father, now dead and gone, has told me a story of how a close friend of his washed, cleaned and polished his car but chose to commute to office by bus. His love for his vehicle was similar to the affection he had for his siblings. I once went to a press briefing which was conducted by motor car enthusiasts who were gearing up for a motor show in the cool climes of Central Province. I was amazed at how affectionately they planned the trip for the old crocks which were to make the trip. One official told the media, "These old vehicles will have to be given a rest half way through Kadugannawa to stop the engines from boiling," he said. It made me wonder how brutal today’s drivers are when they use modern vehicles which boast of all options. How many snazzy vehicles do we see stalled on the road due to overheated engines, mainly due to lack of their drivers being sensitive to the needs of the vehicle rather than any fault in the engine.

We curse the rain these days because the driveways to the road and beyond have been submerged by water. But then do we think about the farmers who have been praying to weather gods for the drought they’ve been experiencing to cease? I can recall a news story about a farmer storming a publishing house in another country when a sports writer once said that a match was affected by bad weather. The farmer had bitterly complained about the choice of words by the writer and had opined that he (Journalist) should have substituted the phrase bad weather with ‘wet weather’. Rain is like music to the ears of farmers and how cruel on the part of those who wish the skies would never open out, because dry weather is convenient for them.

It is safe to assume that hordes of people have conveniently ignored the function of their senses. There is only a sequence in most people’s lives due to the hectic work schedules. In the good old days we saw a rhythm in the lives of people, instead, and such a behaviour patter ensured sensitivity was a standout feature in their characters. We have often heard employees inform their bosses or colleagues about their inability to attend work on a particular day because one of their loved ones, at home, is sick and needs medical attention. It’s sad when the recipient of the message scribbles something down and hangs off not even bothering to inquire about the condition of the patient.

I still remember the first day I saw the board ‘Thank you for not smoking’. I was amazed by its impact and the polite request would have ensured that even a person hard pressed for a fag would have thought twice before lighting a cigarette, in such an enclosure.

People seem to have lost the art of selecting words before speaking to others. At present we see words just fly off the mouths of speakers regardless of how the listener would be impacted. We see enough occasions when the boss blasts a subordinate in the presence of colleagues. This results in the person reprimanded losing a chunk of his confidence and self respect. Seldom do we see people being reprimanded in the bosses’ office, in the strictest of confidence. This is the best way to correct a fault without subjecting the person at fault to severe embarrassment.

We have a constant rapport with our barber, the man in the grocery store and the postman but how many of us ask for his collar size and present him with a shirt for Christmas or New Year? Mind you, this was a tradition practiced by the folks in the bygone era.

I once read a Japanese Zen story where a debtor, with wisdom, had the habit of avoiding his creditors when ever there was a possibility for the two parties to bump into each other on the street. The debtor’s thinking was that a meeting of such parties would cause unpleasantness to the creditor, especially when the money borrowed has been long overdue.

The present generation is so self-cantered in their thinking but what amazes me is despite this they keep missing the awareness of a thing called sensitiveness that lies within. The husband-wife relationships are strained in a good number of houses because both partners have taken things for granted. Husbands keep demanding the same chores from their spouses, forgetting that their wives too work and contribute to the household income. One of my friends, Charles, once told me that his mother, now deceased, had the habit of bringing her husband a cup of tea, when he returned home from work, which was often accompanied by a joke or some humour which her husband fancied. Being aware of this world called sensitivity is the secret for success in most relationships.

In Sri Lanka we hear so many complaints about security officials, who man the entrance to institutes, being very rude, by nature. This is possibly because they do so much work and even break rest, but seldom get rewarded even with a simple acknowledgement like ‘thank you’. These officials often have to temporarily adjourn consuming their meals in order to attend to urgent duties and the sacrifice they make often goes unnoticed. The same goes with the cleaning women and the tea boy at work places; their ‘good’ work is seldom appreciated or acknowledged.

Author Dale Carnegie once wrote in one of his self-help books-How to win and influence people- how an old lady parted with an old and beautiful car that had been presented to her by her husband. This was after she had got hopingly annoyed when a visitor had once suggested she shell the vehicle if she wasn’t using it. There was sentimental value in the vehicle and the mention of ‘selling it’ infuriated the old lady! But on paying a compliment on the beauty of the vehicle the old lady was simply bowled over and even offered the vehicle to the visitor, as a gift, because she felt someone who appreciated beauty would take care of a thing with value.

People who have been sensitive to the needs of others have often achieved plenty through such relationships. Sensitivity is a door which opens another thousand doors on you.