YOUR HUMBLE NARRATOR is writing this in a traffic jam in Bangkok. Thailand’s capital is famous for its massive gridlocks. Tourists flock from all over the world to experience them. They are one of the wonders of the modern world.

It’s kinda fun. I have been assigned a luxury limousine and a uniformed chauffeur by someone who mistakenly thought I was the sort of person who needs such things for what the guidebook said would be a 45-minute journey.

But I’d been installed in the massive white car and waved off before I could tell him I had a degree in waiting for buses.

To pass the time, I stared through the windows of the cars around me. No one was stressed out, or angry, or honking at the lack of movement.

People were asleep or watching television or having baths. Many drivers had equipped their cars with everything they need to live independently for days, maybe months or years. Vehicles had snack cabinets, toilets, fridges, music systems, showers, swimming pools, basement table-tennis rooms, lap-dancing clubs, golf courses, and so on.

I turned to look at the pavement and a question popped to mind. The pedestrians, the cyclists, a statue, and an old lady who was taking about one step an hour seemed to be moving faster than we were. I asked the chauffeur: "Why doesn’t everyone just walk?"

He looked at me quizzically. "Poor people walk. Rich people drive."

The conversation proceeded as follows.

ME: "But the poor people are getting to where they are going faster than the rich people."

HIM: "Yes sir."

ME: "And the poor people pay nothing for their journeys, while the rich pay a fortune."

HIM: "Yes sir."

ME: "And poor people get free exercise while the rich hasten their long, painful, cholesterol-induced deaths."

HIM: "Yes sir."

ME: "Rich people are stupid."

HIM: "Yes sir."

ME: "So, are you calling me stupid?"

HIM: "Yes sir."

I shut up at that point. There’s no answer to that.

A little while later — it felt like about 18 months — we arrived at our destination. I got out of the limousine and said to my host: "I see the financial downturn hasn’t affected the traffic jams."

"True," he replied. "But we’ve had a bit of bad news on that front."

He told me that Bangkok could no longer claim to have the world’s largest traffic jams. On June 10 this year, the residents of Sao Paulo, Brazil’s largest city, found themselves in the biggest traffic jam in history, a queue of vehicles stretching 293 kilometers.

Even today, some people are STILL believed to be in that queue, waiting to get home. Mathematicians fear that the queue will NEVER disappear, as many drivers have now forgotten where they live.

But Bangkok is hoping to beat Sao Paulo by creating a permanent gridlock spanning the whole of Southeast Asia.

I asked: "I can understand you wanting to keep your title. But how do you get to your office in the mornings?"

He smiled: "I’m not stupid. I walk."