Incredible, yes. Comic, decidedly so. The Tamil referendum among its overseas western diaspora goes on like an unending comic opera.

Having held referenda is Holland, Germany, France and Switzerland to ascertain how many of the Tamils support the 1975 Vaddukodai resolution urging the setting up of an independent Tamil state in Sri Lanka, the decapitated LTTE’s front organization the British Tamils Forum (BTF) held one last week in the UK.

What do you think was the result? No need to tax your grey cells over such an obvious one. The result, my friends, was the same as elsewhere, or more specifically, the European continent. In each case over 99% of the votes cast was in support of the resolution and for setting up a Tamil state.

Actually there was no real need to have held a referendum at all the in the UK. After all, the BTF or whoever organized this charade of a poll was placing a lot of their brethren in the UK in serious jeopardy.

There are so many staying illegally in the UK, those who came to the UK on false passports, were illicitly brought to Old Blighty by human smugglers from the Tamil community who did not mind taking the last dollar off their own people by charging huge amounts to smuggle them in, overstays and illicit workers, all of whom are hiding from Britain’s Border Agency and similar agencies.

So to ask these chaps to come out and vote at a referendum for some distant and unattainable Eelam is to expose the poor fellows who are trying to make a buck or two by working in construction sites, picking fruit or simply robbing both Peter and Paul, is to put them at the grave risk of being thrown in one of the cans the Brits operate for this type of chap.

So the poor chaps would have been dragged off their beds or wherever some of them sleep at night, to satisfy the ego of those like Suren Surendiran of the BTF. By the way surendiran’s ventures into the field of journalism thanks to the ever- accommodating Guardian newspaper that is fast becoming a third-rate rag even in the world of Britain’s sloppy journalism, reminds one of a raging bull in the china shop.

Now anybody who could expose his own kind to the rigours of the law and the prospect of deportation cannot have much consideration for his own people.

All this rigmarole and vote fixing is merely to try and hoodwink the world that all (oh sorry, just 99 point something percent) of the Tamils lend uneqivocal support to the Vadukkodai resolution which the Velvettithurai Sun God tried to impose with the barrel of the gun and suicide jackets tied to innocent persons.

So what the Velvettithurai genius did to his people by killing all the Tamil leaders and leaving the community bereft of an intelligent and intellectual leadership, the present inheritors of the Prabhakaran legacy are trying to do the Tamil community abroad.

The likes of Suren Surendiran are exposing the poorer and legally vulnerable sections of the Tamil community by organizing this kind of charade and probably coercing them to come and vote for some illusory dream.

Let me ask a straightforward question from this Surendiran fellow who has appeared as the pliant voice in Britain of his departed leader. If this great Eelam is established following the overwhelming vote of the Tamil diaspora in the West, will he and his family uproot themselves from the UK and come and settle down in the Vanni or Kilinochchi or wherever he thinks best?

I will bet you all you all the tea in Talawakelle to all the ulundu vadai in Wembley that he will promptly give an undertaking that he will indeed do so.

His enthusiasm is very easy to explain. He knows only too well that he will never have to fulfill that undertaking because there will never be an Eelam or what some Eazham whatever that means- certainly not in his life time.

Will the thousands of Tamils who are supposedly hankering after this Eelam leave their thottams in Europe, bundle their belongings including the warm coats that protected them from the severe winter recently, and come to Mullaitivu where they will continue to live on dhal, sambal and brinjal?

I rather think not. While this Surendiran and his misleading cohorts are at it, why don’t they take a vote on how many of them will settle in Eelam if by some unforeseen catastrophe Tamil Eelam is born.

They dare not do that for a very good reason. Nobody will put their names and signatures on a paper that will in effect mean they are renouncing their status in the UK or elsewhere in the EU thus placing their current presence in serious jeopardy.

By the way-all these things by the way- what about that other fellow called Raj something or other Jayadevan who tries to write English and fails miserably and that EROS spokesman and those chaps who run the Tamil Broadcasting Corporation (TBC) that one hears of now then- did they too vote from Project Impossible?

Or were they and their own groups of other voices left out of the counting and accounting?

There is another serious aspect to this hoax. According to what Surendiran has circulated as the UK result of the referendum, 64,256 (or 99.33%) voted yes while 185 (0.29%) traitors voted against and 251 votes were rejected as spoilt.

What worries me is what happened to the rest of the Tamil population in the UK. After two days of voting, only 64,000-odd cast their ballots. But the Tamil population in the UK is far bigger than that. There are between 135,000 and 150,000 Tamils of Sri Lankan Tamils living in the UK out of a total population of around 250,000 persons of Sri Lankan origin.

So less than 50% or more Tamils in the UK had not participated in the poll. This leads one to the suspicion that not all Tamils were invited to vote, only those who could be trusted to vote "yes" in order to keep the percentage as close to a perfect 100% as possible in their perspective.

It would be interesting to hear Surendiran’s explanation as to how more than half the Tamil population was disenfranchised. Or is it that by not bothering to vote they expressed their utter contempt for this brazenly fraudulent exercise.

Maybe as has been said only Tamil Britons over the age of 18 were eligible to vote. Could it then be that most of these Tamils then are not Britons. So what is their secret?

One more matter. If these fellows and fellies all want Eelam and do not wish to have anything to do with Sri Lanka, will they kindly return the Sri Lanka passport that some of them hold, to the Sri Lanka High Commission in London, please.

That LTTE mouthpiece TamilNet carried pictures of the British politicians who were present during this two-day exercise. Those like Robert Evans are political has beens and are clinging on to such lost causes for the little publicity they can eke out of this.

Others-mainly from the Labour Party and one Tory with an unpronounceable name- are there for the few votes they can collect from the Tamil community by seen to be supporting the Tamil cause.

Where oh where are the likes of Keith Vaz (also known to some as Sleaze Vaz after some dubious deals) of East Leicester who was always upfront at LTTE fronted events and spoke so vociferously as chairman of the UK parliament’s All Party Group for Tamils? Gone into hiding or what?

Anyway these politicians are not heavyweights and they are just hoping that the Tamil vote might delay their journey from political obscurity to political oblivion.