‘Toys R Us’ comes dashing to Sri Lanka


There is interesting news that "Toys ‘R" Us", the giant toys and juvenile products retailer in the US, is making arrangements to open a major outlet in Sri Lanka very soon.

The talks with local partners have got a boost with the news of the toy pistol wielding Mayor of Hambantota, getting top exposure in the toy market publications and websites the world over; creating a very good image of Sri Lanka as a major destination for the toy industry, with emphasis on toy weapons.

The latest trend set by this toy pistol politico is reported to have led the Police Department to issue an urgent amendment to its recent order that constables and all police officers should carry revolvers at all times when on duty.  Realizing the practical value of toy pistols, as displayed at Hambantota, the new instructions are that the carrying of toy revolvers by the police is sufficient to meet current needs of combating crime.

I am reliably informed this has nothing to do with the growing public perception that the Police hardly intervenes to prevent a breakdown of law and order, or criminal acts, especially at highly charged political situations. 

Market analysts in the country report a sharp increase in the sale of toy pistols in the past two weeks. With the new importance attached to toy weapons, especially in matters of political activity, as well as law and order, trade organizations expect a massive increase in the demand for toy knives, daggers, swords and even shotguns rifles too, in the coming weeks.

Criminal elements, who are in cahoots with the police or powerful politicians, and others of that tribe,  are said to be throwing big parties to celebrate this entry of toy weapons to their tough, rough and  bloody activities.

With politicians getting so enamoured with toy weapons, there are well informed reports of the setting up of a special Ministry for Toy Weapons, creating an opening for another minister of Cabinet rank, to manage what is expected to become a major part of the economy, and contribute substantially to GDP growth.

Observers of the local scene see that politics is fast becoming a blend of toys and games. The passage of what is known as the Casino Bill in Parliament this week has added to this trend, with more politicians getting used to the handling of toys and gaming at casinos. With politicians moving on to a constantly playful mood, there are some who think that Parliament too would soon be considered a playhouse for politics, rather than the supreme assembly of peoples’ representatives.

Although the Bill passed in Parliament this week does not specify the setting up of casinos in the proposed development projects with multi-facilities for rest and relaxation, there is a belief that casinos will certainly creep in. The Creep of Casino Culture, a some critics see it, is also expected to make  room for more toys, for politicians, business people  and those who can afford it – through power and/or money to play around with.

There are many who see the a big burst in live female sex toys, that will satisfy both politicians and their powerful or devoted catchers, and all others who have the money to pay for such toys and play with them. The objections of religious leaders or those who believe in an ethics based society, will have no answer to the claims by these casino catchers in the growing world of toy politics that they are only playing with toys, and not the feelings or rights of women. This is fully in keeping with the new trend established by the Pistol Packing Mayor from the South.

Senior economists who study national growth, are also said to be fast taking steps to incorporate the new toy sector – including both toy weapons and sex toys - into the economy, leading to a new category of growth in the country; with the new interest in this sector likely to make it an area of growth even larger than, tourism, infrastructure and highways.

We are fast moving into the Age of Toy Weapons Handlers. It is a whole new chapter in the history of this country, which will be an interesting addition to our valued chronicles of the past.  It will be the record of how this country will move to be the Toy Weapon Hub of Asia.

animated gif
Processing Request
Please Wait...