Unknown groups surround parliament


Parliament was in turmoil. An all-party meeting was convened by President Maithripala Sirisena, who flew on a special American Sea Plane to the Diyawanna. It wasn't possible for Prime Minister Ranil Wickremesinghe even to travel to the Parliament using a Japanese automobile. The Japanese who were angry that his media misled the world over his address to the Japanese Parliament did not allow the Premier to use any of their automobiles. He had to depend on President Sirisena to fly him to the Diyawanna. Speaker Karu Jayasuriya had managed to take one of those Diyawanna Swan Boats to get there. Finance Minister Ravi Karunanayake was busy signing cheques and currency notes at his office inside the Blood Bank, the only bank which was assigned to him at the request of his schoolmate cum good friend Sajith Premadasa. Sambanthan arrived, surrounded by Indian black Cats in a Maruti 800 car. Douglas Devananda couldn't make it on time since he was watching Hunger Games in Kayts. Arumugam Thondaman and Digambaram preferred to settle their scores at the expenses of poor estate workers in Haputale area instead of attending the emergency meeting.

Speaker was trying his best to send a Chinese made helicopter to get the JVP leader Anura Kumara, Vasu requested a helicopter made in Brazil if he was to attend the emergency sessions. Ranil asked the Speaker not to worry about Gammanpila, Weerawansa and even his old classmate Dinesh. However, the President and the Speaker ignored his unparliamentary request and decided to send a Tuk Tuk to get Gammanpila, a white van to bring Weerawansa and a Volkswagen manufactured in Kurunegala by Deputy Minister Harsha de Silva was sent to bring Dinesh. Das Auto.

Many parliamentarians couldn't leave the premises. They were stuck inside and were seen walking aimlessly all over. Young and energetic Muthu Hetti was having a hand fight with Johnston Fernando. Young Lohan Ratwatte was seen scrumming down with Sujeewa Senasinghe trying to teach him how to play rugger and work the line out and outfox his minister Malik.

There was a big commotion both inside and outside Parliament. Lobby correspondents, too, were puzzled. Though the Sergeant at Arms prevented the journalists from going outside several journalists and TV crews, both local and foreign, were seen at the entrance to Parliament covering the commotion. Deputy Speaker Thilanga Sumathipala, who hadn't given up hope of becoming the President of the International Cricket Council, was giving a ball-by- ball commentary to the BBC sports network, Channel 9 and even Channel 4 from the Speaker’s chair. Former Deputy Speaker Chandima Weerakoody was seen encouraging Sumathipala, singing "This is my land. This is your land. It is only you and I can make it better for all of us MPs." All the defeated MPs who entered Parliament through the backdoor were seen nodding in agreement.

Rumour, Face Book, SMS, anti-social web mills were working round the clock after they heard sirens, ambulances, defenders, fire brigade vehicles, Pajeros, Monteros, Alfa Romeos, BMWs, Benz, Porsche and even Lamboginis were seen driven towards Parliament in high speed. An emergency medical assistance helicopter donated with the personal funds of health minister Rajitha Senaratne was seen hovering over the parliament complex. He had also sent several of his trawlers towards Diyawanna Oya. Champika ordered the ‘Mega Police’ to stand by since he found the Police Chief Ilangakoon unsuitable to handle the situation since the police were only capable of ordering DNA tests and assaulting innocent students. One time darling of the Silver Screen and current MP of the Diyawanna Geetha Kumarsinghe was seen calling several TV stations to get their attention with no luck because she had missed number of live programmes. They were not willing even to give her a voice cut.

Numbers grew at the entrance to Parliament. loud nosies were heard outside, even music and people singing or shouting in shrill and croaky voices. It was difficult to say if they were singing or shouting. There were people with colour, even women and children. Infants, bag used like the ones used usually by Champika Ranawaka. Some were wearing Palayakat sarongs; few were in Barbara Sansoni sarongs and all were ‘barefoot’. Several wore torn long shorts, half sarongs. There were brown, white, black, yellow , reddish and coloured people. It also looked like a mini United Nations since they had come from all over the world to Kotte. But, it was very clear that they were not rich people. If not, why would they surround the poor Sri Lankan Parliament. I refused to get involved though both Ranil and Maithri kept on calling me. I wanted to live up to my appointment as the Minister for Nothing to Do of Sri Lanka.

From my powerful Binoculars presented to me by late JRJ many moons ago I could see even DEW Gunasekara, Rajiva Wijesinghe, Tissa Vitharana, Dayan Jayatilaka and even former Presidents Chandrika and Mahinda hand in hand with the Sri Lankan and international protesters. After an emergency party leaders’ meeting and a short parliamentary session they all came to an agreement to send the Media Secretary to the Honourable Prime Minister of Sri Lanka, former Royal college student and my old friend Saman Athaudahetti who with his long hair and his earthy attire to settle the problem since President Sirisena found out that the unrest was created as a direct result of unparliamentary language used by Prime Minister Wickramsinghe, who unnecessarily dragged Gypsies in.

Having both seen and heard it on CNN, BBC, NDTV, Al Jazeera, German TV, Russian, Austrian, Chinese and every Channel in the world they had come in thousands to occupy Parliament of Sri Lanka as the Gypsy Head Quarters and to hold their annual convention. They also wanted to make Ranil their patron for life if he wasn't willing to withdraw his utterances within two days. It was sad that Sunil Perera and his band the Gypsies, Mahinda, Chandrika, DEW and Co. tried to infiltrate the group to achieve their personal goals.

PS: At the time of going to press, I am not sure if Saman Athaudahetti with his Gypsy look was able to protect Sri Lanka’s PM from the real Gypsies. My buddy Lakshman Kiriella said "Only way Ranil could escape is to resign as PM, make me the Prime Minister and join the band Gypsies and sing ‘Ojaye, Ojaye.’ If not, we all will go down the pallang and might have to become p...s as advised by Ranil. What a calamity Bandula! What a calamity after suffering for 20 years in the opposition," Kiriella cried in pain.

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