Anagarika Mahinda, Soprano Ranil ,CBK into Coconuts


Former President Chandrika Kumaratunga having moved to Wariyapola in Kurunegala district is managing a successful coconut business. She is exporting King Coconuts to Europe. She also has made peace with former President Mahinda Rajapaksa who has become Anagarika Rajapaksa. He had given up politics and was living on top of the Elephant Rock in Kurunegala. Chandrika occasionally offers dhana to Mahinda and at times they speak freely about their good and bad days and share a laugh. Maithripala Sirisena too has retired after his first term as President of Sri Lanka. He lives in Polonnaruwa among his people educating children and visiting farmers.

Ranil Wickremesinghe a former President who realised his Presidential dream after several decades has finally settled in London and had embarked on a career as a Soprano and doing Sri Lanka proud. International Media loved him but, Sri Lankan media couldn't understand the importance of the former Prime Minister /President as a world renowned Soprano.

Nimal Siripala ultimately became the President after he was elected as the leader of the Marxist JVP the ruling party. After Nimal was sacked both from the SLFP and the UNP for sleep walking at parliament, he joined the JVP, revived the party , went to Global Fitness in New York, lost all his weight and led a special revolution and became the President of Sri Lanka. He had thrown Wimal Weerawansa in prison but pardoned him for good behaviour later. Wimal is teaching prisoners meditation today and is very popular among his former inmates.

Udaya Gammanpila has become a monk and was domiciled in Melbourne. He is known as Venerable Andagala Udaya. Dinesh has moved to Avissawella and started a successful boat factory with Rajitha Senaratne. They are the largest suppliers of boats to the Indian Ocean and even won several international awards. Comrade Vasudeva moved to Cuba where he was recognised as a Castro look alike and is treated as a honoured guest in Cuba. He and former Finance Minister Ravi Karunanayake are in to export and import of Havana Cigars and Colombo cigars. Ravi’s cigar factory is at the former Orient Club.

Harsha de Silva and Eran Wickremaratne finally were treated well and got the places they rightly deserved. With the permission of the new JVP, President Nimal appointed them as Prime Minister and Deputy. They held no grudge against former President Ranil and even invited him to sing at the Royal Thomian cricket match. However, Lakshman Kiriella as the Principal of Royal College objected to Ranil singing at the match.

Faizer Musthapha has become the Attorney General of Sri Lanka. He was warned by doctors not to drink ice coffee at Cinnamon Grand . Thereafter , he cleared all the pending cases and gave relief to the poor. There aren't any pending court cases in Sri Lanka now. Champika Ranawaka , after successfully completing the Megapoils and Port City Projects was honoured both by the Indian and Chinese governments. He shuttles between China, India, Macau , Monaco, Melbourne and Sri Lanka as the owner of the biggest Casino in Asia. Special feature in his Casinos are their flat rate you have to gamble and liquor is not served.

Before former President Ranil Wicks moved to London, he handed over both Sinharaja and Wilpattu to Rishad Bathiudeen , under a special decree. Rishad is a successful timber dealer now. He also runs open safaris and other related businesses. There is no rain in Sri Lanka after he took over Sinharaja. He promised the country he will stop rains in Sri Lanka and even send the umbrella manufacturers out of business. He kept his promise. Rauff Hakeem completely took over his wife’s ice cream business and made it the biggest brand in Sri Lanka and in India thanks to ECTA. He is a well known billionaire in Sri Lanka. Apart from running all the Carnivals in the region, Rauff successfully launched a new ice cream with the help of Thilanga Sumathipala as ‘How is That"

Arjuna Ranatunga and Thilanga Sumathipala are the best of buddies in Sri Lanka today. They both are in good business having taken over the Cricket Club Cafe in Colombo. They operate special ‘Cutthroat Bars’ in all cricket playing nations having a former cricketer as a partner. In addition to serving good and bad food. They teach aspiring cricketers how to bowl off cutters and the art of eating rice. Dayasiri Jayasekara is a Karate Master having earned several black belts in Japan. My friend Faraz Shauketally had who later patched up with Ranil Wickremasinghe and former Governor of Central Bank is the new High Commissioner to London. He meets Ranil for a drink often. John Amaratunga is the head of an international pharmaceutical company based in the United States. Wijedasa Rajapaksa was deported to Pakistan and Sarath Fonseka to India. The decision was made at the SAARC Heads of State meeting held in Sri Lanka. They both were advised to maintain the eternal rivalry but to let Sri Lankans live in peace.

Nobel committee award a Peace Prize to Comrades Somawansa Amarasinghe and Anura Kumara Dissanayake. After receiving the award and a joint acceptance speech , Amarasinghe and Dissanayake asked for asylum in Oslo. They are living peacefully now in Iceland running a peace building NGO among the Eskimos.

Sri Lanka is doing a very well and its masses are living a life in a heavenly way. This is Sri Lanka

Did I hear my alarm ring ? Damn it

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